November 27, 2009

“Sooner or later, you become who you hang out with.” 

Learning of the tragic news would require a call to my second oldest son.  Upon hearing it, I thought of him and counted my blessings.  It was a bit startling to learn that one of my son’s contemporaries had been convicted of such a terrible thing and now found himself on a criminal registry.

You never look at a twelve year old boy and imagine his likeness showing up nine years later on a list maintained by the Department of Public Safety & Correctional Services.  He had played on a basketball team I helped coach for a few years.  He was a hustler who wasn’t afraid to get on the floor after a loose ball.  Not a great shooter, his occasional put-backs after scrapping for an offensive rebound always seemed to come at opportune moments.  He listened.  When there was a huddle during a time-out, he never drifted.  Though quiet, he wanted to win.  It showed in the way he played.

His team did win a championship.  They were fun to coach and fun to be around.  He was one of the guys.  Time marched on.  The champion twelve year olds finished middle school and high school.  Along the way, I would see him.  His change, like most change, was gradual.  For a few years, I would get brief conversation.  As high school graduation neared, conversations were not granted.  Perfunctory “hellos” soon turned to avoidance.  I never seemed to see him around.

When I called my son with the distressing news of his one-time teammate and classmate, we struggled in disbelief for a few moments.  His final observation yielded telling words, “Sooner or later, you become who you hang out with.”

We teach that concept every day.  We know it to be true.  Gratitude overwhelms us when those we care about choose wisely.  Yet profound sadness still stuns our senses when others are routed by this inevitable truth.     

Craig Halsey

They Said It

November 27, 2009