December 24, 2010 100th Edition

“You’re not exactly Christmas card material.”

I can laugh about it now.  In fact, just typing the words caused a brief chuckle.  Fewer periods in my professional life have been more difficult.  In the end, we wound up friends (a loose interpretation of the word) and held a deep respect for each other.  Getting there was a bit of a challenge.

Mondays during this wearisome time were the darkest of days.  It was my day in the box with our company president.  No matter what I said or what I did, it was wrong.  Terribly wrong.  Professionally wrong.  Ultimately, it must have been personally wrong as well.  I dreaded those days.  All my energy was devoted to squaring my shoulders and facing the music each Monday morning. 

During one heated exchange (exchange is the wrong word because I usually sat silently in prayer after the first fifteen minutes), my boss made it clear that my efforts to combat his aggression with kindness would fail.  The Monday was a Monday about this time of year.  Out of the blue and out of his mouth the words came, “You’re not exactly Christmas card material.”

We all want to be liked.  We want even more to not be told when we aren’t.  He told me. I didn’t like it.  The moment was awkward.  The comment cut to the quick.  Wounded and distressed, I knew it would be a steep and difficult climb to change my status.

Over time, our relationship was made different.  I’m still not sure if it was a permutation or a transformation, a construction or a refinement.  But it changed…and I am grateful.

This, of course, is the message of Christmas.  That we can change.  Improve.  Refine ourselves.  And have Hope.  

Craig Halsey

They Said It:  The 100^th Edition

December 24, 2010